Idiots: Mad because Oprah won't have Palin on.

This story was actually a lot worse than I thought it would be. At least on all the celeb sites that reported it. Now I know that people are usually pretty racist behind the safety of internet, but they are out in full force for this one for some reason. Fun fact: Oprah was a Democrat long before Obama was even on the scene. Using the argument that she is only voting for him because he is black is absurd. Hopefully some of you will forget to set up your spider traps and get bitten by a black widow.

Axel Rose Suing Blogger for Leaking New GNR Album

Wait...Guns N Roses has a new album coming out that has been in the works for 15 years? I may have to get out my air tools and do my best Yossemite Sam impression in the back yard real quick.

FBI agents arrested 27-year-old Kevin Cogill on Wednesday morning on suspicion of violating federal copyright laws. Cogill appeared in court in the afternoon wearing a T-shirt; his girlfriend sat court and afterward said, "Rally the troops," but declined further comment.

Actress Suing Over Cut from Wax Paper Box

In one of the stupidest lawsuits you will find, "Everybody Loves Raymond" actress, Valerie DeKeyser, has decided to sue Alcoa over a cut she got on her hand from the little slicers on a box of Cut-Rite Wax Paper. Ridiculous.

If you have never cut yourself on a box of wax paper, tin foil, or plastic wrap, you are probably one of the only 5 people in the world that haven't. Here are the filing documents if you want to laugh I guess, or you can take a look at these acne cures and get the pizza off your face.

50 Years of Michael Jackson

You can't deny that Michael Jackson has some of the greatest songs ever made. In fact if someone told you that they couldn't enjoy at least one of them they are lying.

Of course, what should be a memorable birthday, and a huge celebration for such a talented musician, we get to dwell on the freak show that is Michael Jackson.

Jackson has had many looks over the years. NAmely going from being black to practically white. HE has had an incredible amount of surgeries to "correct" faults he claims he had with his appearance. Dude, went way too far as we all know now. Should have just stuck with living healthy and using things like Orovo.

Anyways, there is a pretty good slideshow to show his transformation physically over the years out there. Take a look here.

TMZ Calls Shawn Johnson "You Little Rat"

As much as I like making fun of people, TMZ seems to have angered a good number of people with this one. Yesterday they posted a picture of U.S. gymnast, and Silver Medal winner in this Olympics, along side a cartoon rat indicating that she looked just like it.

Now...I suppose TMZ isn't known for much tact, or any for that matter, but they do seem to always find a way to seriously offend people for no reason at all. Mocking celebs is their biz, with such things as saying that celebs are looking beat down and need blemish acne cream to cover up their faults.

It's a bit too far when they go after MINORS though in such a mocking fashion. Commenters agree that TMZ went too far this time.

Swing Vote Movie: Guy Sues Claiming He Wrote the Flop

In a bizarre twist, we are seeing someone sue over a movie that nobody wants to see. With a head that looks like it would be better off using Triclear and just going away, someone actually wants to take credit for this movie and it isn't anyone that is in it, or those that produced it.

In the suit, filed today in the U.S. District Court in NY, Bradley Blakeman says in Spring 2006 he gave a copy of his script "Go November" "in confidence" to actor Kelsey Grammer. Blakeman says his movie "involves a unique 'down to the wire' presidential election, hinging on swing voters." Imagine his surprise, Blakeman says, when what he calls the "extraordinarily similar" film "Swing Vote" was released last week. Now he's suing for unspecified damages.

Paris Hilton Mocks John McCain

The McCain camp decided to use Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and others to do a bit of a back handed mockery on Obama recently in a campaign ad. The ad was designed to show that Obama was nothing more than a celebrity and that he has no experience. Yeah...the tired campaign BS of Hillary in force with McCain.

Anyways, after seeing the ads from the tv deals McCain had, Paris decided to fight back and mock him as well. HEre is her campaign video in which she probably at least looks liky a better candidate than "that wrinkly white-haired guy".

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Britney Spears's Baby Battle Ends

I guess celeb news has taken a hit this weekend. Britney's custody battle is over. A custody settlement between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline has been finalized, including a $5,000-per-month child-support increase for the pop singer's ex-husband.

Federline, can get his moving boxes together and get into better diggs now I guess. Attorneys delivered the terms of the agreement to a Los Angeles Superior Court office Friday afternoon. According to the documents, Spears' payments to Federline go from $15,000 to $20,000 per month, retroactive to July 15.

Gotta pay for those hookers, booze, and recreational drugs after all.

Dark Knight New Box Office Champ

Batman Dark Knight opened Friday among some of the most hype in recent memory for any movie. That hype paid off as the movie was able to overtake Spiderman 3 as the highest grossing opening weekend film in box office history.

"The Dark Knight" took in a record $155.34 million in its first weekend, said Dan Fellman, head of distribution for Warner Bros., which released the "Batman Begins" sequel.

That topped Hollywood's previous best of $151.1 million, set by "Spider-Man 3" in May 2007.

"We knew it would be big, but we never expected to dominate the marketplace like we did," Fellman said. The movie should shoot past the $200 million mark by the end of the week, he said.

Factoring in higher admission prices, however, "Spider-Man 3" may have sold slightly more tickets than "The Dark Knight."

At 2007's average price of $6.88, "Spider-Man 3" sold 21.96 million tickets over opening weekend. Box office tracker Media By Numbers estimates today's average movie prices at $7.08, which means "The Dark Knight" would have sold 21.94 million tickets.

Money means everything though, so it will still get the title of highest opening weekend, although it probably sold less tickets than Spiderman 3 did. I spent the weekend in my sexy swimwear rather than going to the movies so sorry, Dark Knight, I didn't do my part.

Dark Knight to Break Opening Weekend Box Office Record?

I really have no doubt it will. I honestly have not heard more hype around a summer movie in the last 5 years as this one is getting. People just want to see it, and the reviews are spectacular. Add in the Heath Ledger side of it, and combine that with a great movie, this very well could be the biggest weekend opener of all-time.

Already, advance ticket sales have resulted in the sell-out of nearly 1,000 showtimes, online ticket seller Fandango said.

It seems that the super hero franchise movies are the biggest of the bunch. "Dark Knight" will hope to beat the record debut of Sony Pictures Entertainment's "Spider-Man 3" in 2007, which reached $151 million. Sony Pictures is part of Japanese electronics company Sony Corp.

In the No. 2 spot is the $135.6 million debut for 2006's "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," released by the film division of The Walt Disney Co. Who cares about #2 though right? ;)