Paris Hilton Visits Shanghai

Yes, our favorite celebrity, besides Britney of course, went to some country and shopped instead of being in some sort of asylum for their addiction treatment. Glad to see they all get to get out and about once in a while to check out the sights and levae us some fantastic quotes to post about.

"Shanghai looks like the future!" Hilton said in a news conference at the Hyatt on the waterfront, one of the newest landmarks in a city teaming with new skyscrapers.

Fascinating. Just Fascinating.

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Lindsay Lohan Serves 84 Minutes for Two DUIs

Most people see this as rather outrageous, but it is pretty much standard for these types of cases. In July, Nicole Richie served 82 minutes for a 2006 DUI. Why they bother is beyond me if they know a head of time that this is going to happen when they arrive. She was supposed to only serve 24 hours anyways so it isn't like she was going to be in there making modern furniture and license plates. Most assume that because they are celebrities that they are getting some sort of break, but typically that is far from the case. Anyone with the same sentence and record would probably get the same deal as long as they actually hired a lawyer instead of just pleading guilty like a moron.

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Hilton Tries to Help Drunk Elephants

Now here's a good story. Paris Hilton is jumping on board a serious problem that is plagueing North-east India. Binge Drinking Elephants! Activists said a celebrity endorsement such as Hilton's was sure to raise awareness of the plight of the pachyderms that get drunk on farmers' homemade rice beer and then go on a rampage. These things are a serious threat and have eaten my bulk cable supply more than once. Oh the humanity!

"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," the 26-year-old socialite said in a report posted on World Entertainment News Network's Web site. Her comments were picked up by other Web sites and newspapers around the globe.

I'm sure this is really a serious problem, although it is also very funny. PAris may be getting involved, but you could probably convince me very easily that she thinks this whole thing is a lark as well.

Sangeeta Goswami, head of animal rights group People for Animals, told The Associated Press: "I am indeed happy Hilton has taken note of recent incidents of wild elephants in northeast India going berserk after drinking homemade rice beer and getting killed."

"As part of her global elephant campaign, Hilton should, in fact, think of visiting this region literally infested with elephants," Goswami said.

Another conservationist said elephant alcohol abuse was just a symptom of the real problem.

"Elephants appear on human settlements ... because they have no habitat left due to wanton destruction of forests," said Soumyadeep Dutta, who heads Nature's Beckon, a leading regional conservation group.

"A celebrity like Hilton must focus her attention on this fact," Dutta said.